Annetta | (This post was written before I went to Europe) Next
month I will be in Europe with my family to visit my husband side of the
family. We are all pretty excited about it. They've already started to prep
work for the trip my list making, finishing up work so that for three weeks I
can actually rest. I do plan on taking cross stitching with me and just doing
that for the trip, along with many books, magazines and my watercolors.
Stephanie | In my darkest days, I am
alone. Not a positive thought passes through me. The world is bleak and bland. No color,
no joy. Consumed by the endless responsibilities and repetitive tasks. Eternally on pause, life spins around; constant
motion. Waves of guilt and fear come crashing down on me.Insecurities mounting and pressure building, waiting
to burst through me. Finding any crack to leak out and destroy anything in its
path. The more I try to pull away from my thoughts; they find a way to pull me under again. A game of tug-of-war with the deepest darkest pit within
myself. Every bad thought or action or feeling ever had lies in the
pit; growing
larger by the minuet. Swallowing you whole crushing down and squeezing everything
from you. Just as you take your last breath, The pit
spits you out letting
you live another pathetic day. Alone, and afraid. As the pressure builds again; the insecurities
mounting. The
pit is lurking. It
will find you. It
will feast again. Until then I sit
and wait. In
the dark. All
alone.
Stephanie I suffer from depression and had the saddest day hearing of the death of Robin Williams ,trying so hard to get my head around it....your words touched me I have lived them ,thank you for sharing ....I love seeing yours and Annettas posts in my email you both do such lovely work....and again thank you....
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing Bev. I'm glad you were able to connect to my post. It is such a struggle sometimes, such an isolating time when you get caught in the wave. Its strange to feel all alone, even though so many other people are experiencing the same thing. This was the first time I have written anything like this, captured the feeling of being in the middle of it, it really did help me get past this hurdle. I hope you can express yourself through written word or some art form and push yourself past the pain. Take care!! <3 -Stephanie
Delete